Witch, please! Witches get a bad rap so in honour of the new comedy Holly Morgan is a Witch. Get Her! here are Holly’s top 5 screen witches.
American Horror Story
ALL HAIL. Rock’s Grand High Witch Priestess wafted in to the third season of American Horror Story on a light breeze of patchouli and voodoo and EVERYTHING ABOUT IT WAS FUCKING PERFECT. We are not worthy.
Oh to have been in the pitching meeting for ‘Hocus Pocus’… “So, three hags return from the grave to suck the essence of children. They’ve been dead for three hundred years yet somehow know a three-part harmony to a rock version of ‘I Put a Spell on You.’ Oh and the plot heavily hinges around the lead being a virgin and that being very embarrassing for him. Yes, we’re pitching it at the under twelves.” ICONIC.
The Little Mermaid
Partly based on the iconic drag performer Divine, Ursula rules the waves and makes King Trident eat shit. Not literally, that’s a reference to Divine eating a poo in ‘Pink Flamingoes.’ Disney should bear that in mind for the live action ‘Little Mermaid’.
The Grand High Witch
What is it that makes Angelica Houston so fucking terrifying? Is it the bone structure? Is it the thought of the septum quaking amount of cocaine she got through in Studio 54? Oh, no, it’s the HORRIFYING prosthetics.
The Wicked Witch of the West
The Wizard of Oz
Dorothy comes in and drops a fucking house on her SISTER like some cracked out property developer and WWW is – understandably – pissed off. She wants her pumps! Give ‘em back!