In Untitled Sparkly Vampire Play, Izzy is trying to run a Twilight book club. She’s sunk a lot of man hours into it. It really has to go well. Only her secret boyfriend, Edward Cullen, keeps rocking up to split apples in two, think about sucking her blood, and work through an identity crisis. And maybe, possibly, she’s realising that she could find actual, real love with someone actually real.
So, for the very important question, are you still team Edward or Jacob? I hear you ask and I will answer for you, fear not! Just note down which letter, A, B or C that you answer the most.
1. What is your favourite breed of dog?
a. Golden retriever
Pick a perfect boyfriend!
a. Your childhood best friend. Loyal, gentle, warm body temperature. Smells like a wet dog.
b. The new boy at school. Mysterious, pale, very cold. Has a super weird family but nobody is perfect.
c. No boyfriends for me, thanks.
3. Pick a great first date!
a. A trip to the dog park. A chance to let him off his leash.
b. A romantic stroll through a forest. Piggy-back rides and very fast tree climbing.
c. Probably just a nice quiet pint in a pub, actually? The other options are weird.
4. Pick a Twilight quote.
a. “Well, I’m so sorry that I can’t be the right kind of monster for you, Bella.”
b. “I said it would be better if we weren’t friends, not that I didn’t want to be.”
c. “Does it bother you, me being half naked all the time?”
5. Who is your favourite actor?
a. Taylor Lautner
b. Robert Pattinson
c. Kristen Stewart
d. Meryl Streep
You got mainly As?? TEAM JACOB!
Mostly Bs… team Edward
C… erm, I don’t know, work that one out for yourself.
D… there was an option D? Team Meryl Streep I guess.
Untitled Sparkly Vampire Play is playing as part of our 2022 Summer Season 3-21 May. Get your tickets HERE→
Why not bring along the Jacob to your Edward with a 2 for £20 ticket deal on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays using the code BITEME2
Ashley Milne’s new show is an explosive reaction to compulsory heterosexuality, obsessive teenage girldom, and the feeling of being young and entirely alone.